Sleep Lately - What Not To Do

I know, I've still been awol. Basically, I've still been sleeping every chance I get. Which has been good for me, bad for the blog. You see, we're still struggling to reach a new normal with F's sleep. I said last time that I didn't regret weaning, but I take that back - I regret it, hard. What I thought was bad was in fact totally doable. To be really honest, I hate bedtime right now. It's the worst part of our day. It takes twice as long as it did, she will still only tolerate me putting her down (as opposed to her Dad), and it's a much more frustrating process. It seems to take at least two hours, start to finish, and unfortunately I start to lose patience after about an hour and a half. I'm reading the No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers, and it has helped, but I'm still not happy with the situation. 

Maybe I'm expecting too much. I'm just trying to create the conditions under which she's tired enough to fall asleep, in her bed, more or less unaided (although I'm with her). I don't actually PUT her to sleep. I don't rock, or sing, or do anything terribly taxing other than read stories for a long time and then repeatedly put her back in bed. Sometimes we cuddle. Some nights, she rolls over in bed and goes to sleep without TOO much fuss. Other nights, she squirms and jumps and giggles - actively fighting sleep. I remarked to a friend that it was like watching someone who was desperately trying not to fall asleep at the wheel - everything short of slapping herself and pounding a Red Bull. Since then, I have actually seen her slap herself on the cheeks! Here's what we're trying:

Earlier dinner and bedtime. If I'm going to stand a chance of getting her down by 8:30, we need to go upstairs by 6:30. Ridiculous, right? I want to condense this so she's going down about 7:30, like before. 

White noise. The nightlight that was already in her room happens to have a white noise setting, so giving that a shot. It helps in that she can't hear her Dad coming and going with the dog, which is a distraction. 

When I start to lose it, I take a 2 minute time out. I don't know if it helps her, but it helps me. She cries when I leave the room, but maybe it's a little reset button?

So, this is the routine:
5:30-6:00 Bath
6:00-6:30 Hot Tea (warm milk)
6:30-7:30 Tidy room (toys out of reach), teeth, pyjamas. ALL the books. In my opinion, this takes too long, but I'm trying to get her to a point where she's actually sleepy. If I limit the books to like 3, she's still wide awake and I get crazy jumping-bean baby.
7:30-8:30 Bedtime, aka repeatedly put down my squirmy, tired, desperate-to-stay-up kid. 

I'm also trying to keep her nap as early as possible (I'm certain she still needs one), and have a lot of physical activity during the day. What else can I do??? I won't resort to CIO - it just ain't for me. Tips would be much appreciated. In case you were wondering, if I just take a chill pill and start later, it doesn't seem to make a difference - it's still a 2 hour process, only then she's overtired and either hyper, or prone to screaming in my face, which is nice. 
To make matters worse, we're going to be doing some travelling next month which will only upset things further. Waaaaah. 

On the Seventh Night

And lo, on the seventh night, they all slept in their own beds, all night. It's a little soon to be claiming victory, so I don't dare say this above a whisper, but you guys, she's sleeping through. I will post in depth about what we did, (in short, we night-weaned with cuddles from Dad) once I'm certain this isn't a fluke! But 11 hours, straight through. We stayed up and watched House Of Cards, had a glass of wine, and STILL got 9 hours of uninterrupted kip. A week ago this seemed impossible - I still feel like it's too good to be true!

We also got a new HUGE mattress to make room for little babies.

A little snack.

And lots of reading on a sunny almost-spring day yesterday. Happy Saturday!!

Remember This: Weaning In Progress

 

So, as I write this, my darling girl is sleeping in her stroller, because she is totally, completely day-weaned. It's easier to get her to sleep while on the move, in the stroller or Ergo, but I've gotten her to sleep 3 times in the last two days, at home, without the boob. I know that doesn't sound like a big deal, but when you've been feeding them to sleep virtually their entire lives, it really feels like an achievement. Added to this, her dad was able to cuddle her back to sleep on one of her night-wakings - again, sounds small, feels huge.

 

 

 

Proof!! It happened!! She's been a little under the weather since we got back - she still had that lingering cold, and now seems to be either teething or fighting off a bug that she picked up on the plane. Either way, she's not quite herself. I'm reminded that she needs ME, not just my boobs. Breastfeeding has been wonderful, but it's not the only tool in my mothering arsenal.

 

 

I complain about co-sleeping, but I woke up to this sweet face today. In the tough, tough, newborn days, when I was vowing NEVER AGAIN, I looked in the mirror and told myself, REMEMBER THIS. Now, I find these little moments almost unbearable in their transience. Saying to myself, remember this.

To Wean or Not to Wean

 

Just reading, chillin' out. Looking super grown-up.

 

I've mentioned it in an off-hand way, but our sleeping schedule is terrible. A long stretch of sleep is rare, and I can never seem to recreate the exact conditions the following night. Some nights I'm up hourly. She's going through a picky stage, eating-wise, as well - and both problems would be easier to deal with in isolation. I've been trying the No-Cry Sleep Solution, but I think she has it figured out and is NOT IMPRESSED. In short though, I'm inclined to blame the boob. Don't get me wrong, I am pro-breastfeeding. I've loved feeding her, and was so happy to do it. It was really, really tough for us to establish in the first place and I don't take it for granted. But she used to sleep through the night, until I got her exclusively on the boob (I wrote about our problems in depth here. Short version: no latch AT ALL, so she was mixed-fed, then problematic latch and bottles of pumped milk, then finally our troubles resolved into easy, exclusive breastfeeding by 3 or 4 months.)  I just think they love it so much, and it's so easy to fall into a routine of co-sleeping and feeding multiple times a night. Again, I was happy to do it! Now though, I'm starting to come to the end of my tether.

 

At nearly 15 months old, we are in a parenting no-mans land; "natural"-type mamas might wonder why we'd give up so early, while "mainstream" parents might think it's gone on a bit too long already - after all, she's walking and talking and has 11 teeth. Attachment-style advice is usually a variant of "Why do you want to wean?? Is night waking really a problem??", and the other side might say "Ah. You've created a sleep crutch, and they must be broken of this pleasant, comforting association." Gah!

 

Enough moaning. We are basically day-weaned, so she only has it in bed or in the chair in her room, but I just don't know how to gently night-wean at this age. Will update with our progress!

A Little Bit More

Way back in the early days of breastfeeding, when we were having a horrible time and I was worried about my milk supply, a community staff nurse said to me, "There's always more. They can always get a little bit more, even when you think they're empty". I've come to think of that as a metaphor for parenthood at large; there's always a little bit more - time, patience, love - more than you ever thought you had, and if they needed more still, you'd find it. 

She slept a glorious 8 hours last night, after what has been the hardest week in months. So glad to have my happy baby back. Here she is enjoying her porridge:

 

 

Like, really enjoying it.

 

 

A rare prone moment:

 

Mulligatawny Soup All Over The Place

Having a tough mothering week. The cold, the lack of sleep, and also the lack of HELP. My partner works long hours, and is exceptionally busy right now. We don't have any family nearby either. It's very rare for me to think about what life might be like if we moved back to California, but right now, all I can think about is dropping her off at Grandma's so I can have a nap. I know that once I get some sleep I will be happy again - it hasn't been a picnic for her either. Last night I made Lentil Mulligatawny from the Vedge cookbook, for the second time. It's out-of-hand delicious, and so easy. The first time I made it, the babe couldn't get enough. Since then, she seems to have evolved past the need for food or sleep, so she basically flung it around. Yup, this is my life:

I've been trying the No-Cry Sleep Solution, by the way, but the holidays got us out of routine and then she got a cold and 3 molars... I expect things to get better soon. I guess we are on the attachment end of the spectrum, and I'm not comfortable making her cry herself to sleep. Advice gratefully received.